Hey Jacinta! Howzit goin' babe?! I'm stuck here in Bruce's office in Toronto while he is away doing whatever he does for a living. He supposedly makes a lot of money, but Lord only knows what he spends it on! I think mostly clothes and music ,and maybe alcohol. How are things down there in Australia? What are you up to these days? I havn't heard from you for a while. Craig says you came down to see him. He visited me this year. We had mucho fun! We spent the day at Disneyland, goofing off and frightening the children. In case you didn't know, I am in Toronto visiting Bruce (from our European trip) for a week. Last week he and I were in Costa Rica together goofing off. It was fun (I enclosed some photos). I also stole a negative from Bruce's collection and had it enlarged. Can you believe it has been like four years since that photo was taken of you and me in Switzerland?! Time sure does fly. I sure would like to see you again. Some day I'll make it down your way. I'm just afraid that I will like Australia so much that I won't want to come home! So how was my Costa Rica trip? Well, if you like partying with the geriatric crowd, then "wowzy wowzy woo woo!" The resort was beautiful, the ocean warm and wonderful, the food adequate, and the alcohol was FREE! Aside from the fact that there was virtually no available frisky swimsuit models to scam on, all was great. We partied in the disco every night, with me doing the "Jerry Lewis has an epilepsy fit" dance, while Bruce did the "I'm a white-boy so I don't move my feet" wiggle. By day we laid by the pool, drank at the swim-up bar, laid by the beach, drank at the walk-up bar, laid by the grass, and drank. We did a little exploring, I took a photo safari, and Bruce played tennis. I was a total wreck by the end of the trip. My feet were totally blistered, either from dancing or hiking, my butt had a rash from the sand in my pants, and my reproductive organs were battered beyond recognition from horse-back riding! Ah yes, the wonders of the saddle-sore! I guess I just don't know what the hell I am doing, but when my horse cantered, I was seeing stars with every step! Yes, my eyes were watering and I was just laughing hysterically as my sexual vitality was lessened with each impact! The stout, handsome, virile Latin-male who accompanied the group, galloped up to me on the beach while I was in this state of torture and said (or I thought he said) "Are you Juan Gonzales?" I couldn't understand why in the hell he wanted to know if I was Juan Gonzales, while I was being beaten to death by my horse, so I said "No, I'm not Juan Gonzales!". He looked perplexed and asked again, and this time I realized he said "You no wan' to gallop?" "No, no." I said, grabbing my battered gonads, "No gallop. No bueno on my huevos!" (means "no good on my eggs" in Spanish!) We both laughed, and he trotted away, either blessed with numb genitalia or some unknown riding ability. The trip to and from the place was far more interesting than the stay. I'm dubbing it the "1994 Tarmac Tour"! First off, I spent six hours on the ground in L.A. 'cuz the Toronto Airport was closed due to bad weather (for the first time in history!). Once off, this flight was of particular poor quality, and I nearly blew chunks on several occasions as I swore we were going to fall from the sky. From there we flew to Montreal (a Canadian city filled with snotty French-speaking people) which was two hours delayed, and then took a bus for a hellish "the driver thinks this is an Indy car" dash to a hotel near the international airport. Next day we got on the plane to Costa Rica, which was two hours delayed, and took six hours of brain and butt numbing flight to get there. Then we got on a bus, which drove for five hours though tropical jungle, then we got on a ferry. The ferry took an hour plus, where we were fed box lunches filled with strange foods that I did not recognize and were of average flavor but I devoured as I was famished. Then it was on the bus again for another hour or so, but I just zonked and awoke later in a big pool of drool with a flaming erection. (no explanation for the arousal, perhaps it was the "passion fruit" in my lunch!) It was Dantes travel day!! On the return journey, we got on this dinky little prop plane and took off from the resort on a dirt road. Then we were bused around for the day to various locations to kill time while the rest of our group made their way to San Jose. In the mean time, the Costa Rican populous is having their once in every four year political elections, so the streets are literally packed with rowdy voters. Pure comedy! I thought for sure that we would get stuck in some political riot of some kind. What surprised me the most (and actually bummed me out a bit) was the fact that there were no old ladies with chickens on our bus!

Take care of yourself, Jacinta.

I sure do miss you!

Slater!

sHaNe