The Dream

Kept from sleep, I toss and turn in my bed. My thoughts and bedding tossed about me like blades of grass in the wind. Uneasy and restless my mind races redundantly, with no direction or goal. I feel somehow empty, unsatisfied. A day has come and gone without fanfare, without substance, without joy. I did not spend one moment with the woman who brings a smile to my face and fulfillment to my soul. I can only lie here now, and think about what could have been, what might yet be...

I roll over and stare into the black nothing. I imagine her coming through the door, a flowing vision entering my private darkness. I see her image clearly before me, my fantasy more brilliant than any reality. Slowly, she reaches out, and we are together.

In the timeless world of my mind, we share an entire lifetime in the murmor of a heartbeat. I can see, hear, smell and taste my imaginary lover. No details are missing, no subtlety lost. The depth of the fantasy is endless.

My eyes remain open, but render only the fanciful images summoned from within. The darkness around me now an empty canvas waiting to accept my dreamscape. Her laugh echos through the valleys around me, while her soft touch warms my soul. We are lost in a maze of passion, intertwined in the complex ecstasy of my fantasy. We make love in the flowing torrent of dream energy, adrift in my stream of conciousness. Reality and reason are lost in these flashes of fancy, with only the autonomous blinking of my eyes to mark time. I am far away from all save the desires of the subconcsious. Here there is no want, no emptiness. The satisfaction is complete, the seduction total.

My eyelash brushes against the pillow. The unwelcome roar shatters the vision, destroys the perfection. I see only blackness.

I am alone. She is not here, not on her way. With the bad taste of reality in my mouth I close my eyes, roll over, and attempt to join her again in my dreams...

sHaNe

1992